[choppedlow]

I'm coming out here guys. This is serious. For the last five days I have gone through hell and back. I usually don't talk about stuff, but man, if I could help one person, great. Two years ago, Dr.s had me strung out on Oxycontin big time. If you have never heard of it, its what Jack Osborne, and Rush Limbaugh were/are on. Its = to heroin, but legal. It turned into a $400 a day habit, and I had enough and tried to stop cold, got put in the hospital. A few days later I was at the methadone clinic like a junkie. I thought it was a temp thing but two years, and super addictive $hit don't go good together. I finally got the balls to go cold turkey. I started abusing the methadone around Christmas, and that was it. I have two little boys that need me, and I'm the only parent they have. Luckily I have a job that I only have to "show up" an hour a week. I have put on 50lbs in three months, and was having all kinds of health problems, do to the meds. I saw a show in HBO called "Methadoina" and it was like a vision! I asked the clinic if ANYONE has ever gone down like they say your supposed to, and they said only one has done it, and he relapsed. To top it off, they said it would be normal for me to do 10 years on it. Hell no. So, all last month I was just sick of it. And last week I just took what I had left, and went for it without a net. I was at the legal highest dose AZ can give out, and its unheard of to just go off of it, but Ive done dumber things. I have been to the ER, urgent care these last five days, can't eat or it comes back out, and the worst, haven't slept in six days. My skin feels like I have bugs crawling on my, I cant be touched or I feel like a shock, and I have to sit in the shower for hours of the day. AND I KEEP CHECKING THIS DAMN WEBSITE! Ironic. So for some reason, today was to be the worst, but I feel OK. For the first time in YEARS I feel like I have a clear head, but a Fed up body. I still can't sleep, eat, or stay in one place for more than five minutes. And I think that its only going to be uphill. But I rigged it so I have to go a week, one way or another. No Dr, help, nothing. No net. I told the lady at the clinic that one day I wasn't going to come back in, and today I stopped to just say thanks. They tried talking me into dosing again. I feel like suing them over it. Anyhow, I have no idea why I'm telling you guys, a bunch of folks I don't know from Adam, but maybe the next time a Dr. prescribes Vicodin, and you find yourself taking 30 of them a day, you'll think of my ass. And I have never done street drugs in my life. I'm glad for Max, and Darcy Wingo, they know whats up, and Darcy has been emailing me like crazy. Big help. Anyhow, I hope none of you think any less of me. I'm really a nice guy, unless your not, but I haven't seen that side of me for along time. I just hope none of you guys have to go through anything remotely as hard as opium kick, and trying to do it cold turkey while raising a three and seven year old at the same time. Thanks guys.