BBBBIFF in CCCanada

[Biff]

Dudes,, I do love Montreal. Great place friendly helpful people. COLD COLD COLD COLD !!!!! I brought my South Carolina fowl weather gear and IT AIN'T ENOUGH!! Went to a store and bought my first official tuke. In the market for Malamutes and a sled. All the hype you hear about folks not helping English speaking dudes is pure bull. All I have to do is stand outside the hotel looking cold and people come running to help!!! Only problem I've had is trying not to get ran over by the 4X4's (four wheel drive four cylinder snow screamers with vrrrooom pipes.) Those cars are amazing in the ice!!

Observations on Montreal;
Pedestrians walk across busy streets,,,,,,SLOWLY !! Surprised hundreds of flat people aren't found after the thaw. There is one right?

Getting directions is awesome!! Unfortunately, the way I pronounce street names and the way they do are two COMPLETELY different animals.


All cars get 10 miles to the gallon. You can go about 10 miles before you need to refill the windshield wiper tank!! They should have filling station that just sell wiper fluid.



Everyone laughs at the way I talk. Been here 2 days and everyone I've chatted with wants to know if I'm from Australia. Can't figure that one.


I'm here to do training for Labaats brewery (tough gig huh?) I was told I would have a translator. I was skeptical,,. Turns out they have a system like the UN uses. Everyone has head sets. I talk and there is a short delay before they get what I'm saying,,,in French. Come to find out,the uber genius that made this thing don't know ANYTHING about the Southern dialect. It's strange. I chuck some jokes in and look at blank stares. Then I'm talking about serious technical stuff and they all break out in panic laughter ??? I ask what was so funny and the response is always the same "We can't explain why what you said is funny,,it doesn't translate.." Tough crowd.



These folks are FUN !! Going to a local youth hockey game tonight. Asked if I could bring the translator system,,, "You will not need this,,we take taxi and have beer,, no problem" Ahhhh beer the international ice breaker!


While scared to death in the taxi driving back to the hotel,,I asked the driver if he's ever seen a white out blizzard like we're having. He rolled down the window,looked up and said " Misure (French for dude) it is snowing? This is nothing!!" Couldn't wait for him to roll the window up.

No wonder they had the winter Olympics here!! Sheesh, from where I stand they could of held the winter Olympics in JUNE!! COLD COLD COLD!!!!!!!



The speedometers are not in MPH,,they're in KPH. Looked up driving down the ice path (free way) and was horrified to see we were doing over 100!! Misure (French for dude) do you think we can slow down??? " Ahhh mon ami (French for good dude) We travel zee posted speed no? JEEZ you guys take farfegnuggin to a whole new level!!




When the only thing you understand about the weather channel is -30, it gets your attention. C vs F is a big difference. Although truth be told once you get minus anything it really don't matter. Painful cold is simply painful cold.


Looking forward to hockey tonight. Going for dinner first and just can't wait to try the French fries covered in brown gravy again. I think they are called Putin. You gotta be careful with pronunciation here as one slip of the tongue here will get you bitch slapped by a waitress. One word is fries and gravy. The other word that's sounds just like it to me has to do with something you don't say in public.Not sure what it is,,but believe me it's a buzz kill!!

I'll report in and let you know of the exploits of Biff gone Arctic. SEND BLANKETS AND SURVIVAL GEAR!!
Bon Jour,
Le Biff

[Texx]

This adventure sounds like the makings for a great reality show!
"Ernest Saves Canada!"

[Kiwi]

Dude,

Welcome to the club, Now you know how I feel at the NALL with all you Yanks and Southern Sinners laughing at me when I'm serious and staring stone blank faced at my bestest jokes.

God has a way of getting even with you dudes, Biff I see he is at wirk with you already.

At least they have the steering wheel on the same side as you dudes. Imagine what it like trying to climb into the front seat of a taxi with fogged up windows, steering wheel on the wrong side as you are trying to wrench the drivers door off and sit on the drivers lap.

Talk about getting that GAY stare from the cabbie.

Yehhh Biffie, but the beer is good up that way eh mate!!!!

You know why Canucks put beer in the fridge, to keep it from freezing. True story mate.

Kiwi

[Kitman]

OH Canada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to watch out for the cow punchers, if you drop your keys, kick them home. The only good thing about the french is ????????????? Nothing comes to me!

Brokeback Mountain Biffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Kitman

[Cracky]

Have a cold one for me.......

[Biff]

Cold what? You need to be more specific as EVERYTHING is cold!

[ChrisR]

LOL nice to see your enjoying yourself Biff, atleast you get to drink some decent beer. I can't believe how nice the weather has been this winter either. Lots of places are enjoying much warmer than usual temps. Consider yourself lucky. HAHA

[Dennis C]

Biff you need to go to the boobie bar's.....there 100% Nakkkkkkeeeeeeedddddddd

Sniff...Sniff

[crazyextra]

Hey Biff!!!, LOL, quite the culture shock!!! Consider yourself lucky that Canada is having one of the warmest winters on record!!!

oh and yeah you'll need to check out the boobie bar like Dennis said, pretty much anything goes

oh and yeah, just a tip, don't say anything religous, in french it can be mistaken as an insult or a swearword.......my friend did a tour of montreal and he commented on a church he saw and he got a bunch of dirty looks

Enjoy the beer!!!!

[bodywerks]

Is it beer slushy season there or what? What the heck posessed you to go there this time of year, anyway??!!

[Biff]

Work is work. Any Giants close? Down town Montreal.

[STR8HUCKIN]

2 months ago I watched detroit play green bay in green bay.....Im from CA ..... I had everypiece of snoboard gear on that I own and was FREEZZING....... Tailgating in GB isnt cool canada must be hell!!