Things you learn when you have a son

[wizard]

When you have a son you learn all sorts of interesting things like...

1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4
inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a
ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Cloris makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year
old
Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show
they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like
ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or
without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

[50%plane]

Those are all true.

Signed,
50%plane(still teaching my parents )

[Jaybird]

Thats some good stuff Wiz!

[Ryguy]

I disagree with number 12, and some "retired" planes do too.

The rest however, are great.

[~SnApRoLl]

I work at an automotive shop and have tried the Clorox and brake fluid
its fun to say the least. Also sprayin P.B. Blaster in a foam cup is fun too.

[SleepyC]

HAHAHAHA.
Nice WIZ...
My son is 19 months old.. and I can attest to probably 12 of those already!

[Ion01]

So this is what I have to look forward to someday? Thanks for the heads up!

[MrKiwi]

i already tried #8. hehe