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| Ba Dum Bum! Jokes & Humor – Got something funny ? Let’s see it! (PG-13 only please) |
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08-21-2006, 12:16 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| TEAM FEARLESS   Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Altamonte Springs Fl. Age: 36
Posts: 501
 |  Workmans Comp. Claim Possibly the funniest story you've read or heard of in a while! This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story! Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure... Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This counts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry. Bill Fuller |
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08-21-2006, 12:23 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| I knocked a horse out once.  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: South Carolina Age: 48
Posts: 3,163
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
BAAAHHHHAAAAAAAA!!! Good one!
__________________ Andy, your refusal to carry a gun but hard line attitude about crime suggests the duality of man. As Nietzsche's hypothesis on existentialism would suggest, the eternal struggle is just that. |
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08-21-2006, 12:29 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| zoom zoom   | Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
lol
__________________ Christopher Todd Vess, Spektrum, Hitec, EastRC, Donalds-Hobby, HigherPlaneProductions A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until a majority of voters discover that they can vote themselves largess out of the public treasury. ~Alexander Tyler |
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08-21-2006, 02:47 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Grad of CrazyGoNuts Univ.  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, OK Age: 26
Posts: 789
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim That is a great story but it is not true. It was tested on the show mythbusters and was proven that the description of what happened couldn't have possibly happen. It was a great episode with lots of destruction though! Last edited by Ion01; 08-21-2006 at 04:54 PM. |
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08-21-2006, 04:50 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| out running flutter  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ashland Va Age: 46
Posts: 1,518
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
yea those kind of guys is the reason WC is so expensive. I pay 16,000 a year for nothing. FWB
__________________ BIG JERRYS RC AIRPORT: Shut down, gone for good stupid WB aint got no class 3rd grade edjamacated PWT construction worker  DA 170 "better to wait than make a mistake" Cyber Convict "man up and support your CD " |
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08-21-2006, 05:50 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |||||||||||||||
| IBEW Local #1  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ofallon, MO Age: 30
Posts: 812
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
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08-22-2006, 12:23 PM
| #9 (permalink) | |||||||||||||||
| TEAM FEARLESS Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Altamonte Springs Fl. Age: 36
Posts: 501
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
But I thought it was still funny.  | |||||||||||||||
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08-22-2006, 03:52 PM
| #10 (permalink) | |||||||||||||||
| Grad of CrazyGoNuts Univ. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, OK Age: 26
Posts: 789
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
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08-22-2006, 04:16 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Living the Dream  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Hastings, MN Age: 31
Posts: 3,575
| Re: Workmans Comp. Claim
That show is great. I've killed many hours of my life watching mythbusters. Not sure who would be able to still hold onto that rope after 500 lbs of bricks nail you in the head though. 
__________________ Chris Griffin: "When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Ha ha ha... ow. Oh, now I don't know math"  |
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