the seven basic types of chain letters

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Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
























Make a wish































Really, go on and make one

































Oh please.... they'll never go out with you
























Wish something else
































Not that, you moron





















Something else Quick



























Is your finger getting tired yet?





















STOP





Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.





Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you


don't send


this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad


goat and


then thrown off a high building into a pile of garbage. It's true


Because, you


know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE





Really Here's how it goes:





Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them a


stupid


chain letter.




Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them


a


stupid chain letter.





5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid


chain


letter.





10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid


chain letter.





20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for


sending


them a stupid chain letter.




Thanks Good Luck











Chain Letter Type 2





Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.





You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has


no arms, no legs,


no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because


for every time you


pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless


Armless Goatless Boy


from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting

letters sent and


this is all bull. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next


47 seconds.











Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you


will die instantly.


Thanks again








Chain Letter Type 3








Hi there This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is

absolutely incredible


because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year


olds writing chain


letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the


next 7 minutes or


something horrible will happen to you like:





Stupid Horror Story 1





Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently


received this letter


and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the


sewer, was gushed


down a drainpipe in a flood of sewerage, and went flying out over a

waterfall. Not only did she


smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You




Stupid Horror Story 2





Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored


it. Later that day,


he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died. Their


families were so upset


that everyone related to them (even by marriage) went crazy and spent the


rest of their


miserable lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You








Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter


to all of your loser

friends, and everything will be OK.





Chain Letter Type 4:





As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your


friends.




Friends





-A friend is someone who is always at your side,





-A friend is someone who likes you even though you have body odor,





-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,





-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,





-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your

loser life,





-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you


should be attacked


by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of garbage,





-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the


check and leaves and


doesn't speak much English, no sorry- that's the cleaning lady,





-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his

wish of being rich to


come true.





Now pass this on If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.














Chain Letter Type 5:







This e-mail is wicked-cool It was started by Microsoft to test its

e-mail tracking system


because, you know, a big high-tech company like Microsoft always sends


important new software


out over the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a


computer, right?





Plus, they have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed


to give up millions of


dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail, passes it on,


looks at it, knows


someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is a friend of


someone who looks at it


A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney


So pass this on to


everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or not) Even


if it's not true, hey-


insulting all of your friends by implying that they are gullible by


sending this to them is worth


the improbable chance that you could go to Disneyland Even if you lose


all of your friends


because they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you, it's worth


the chance, right? And


just for good measure, if you don't send this on, Microsoft will send its


specially trained


attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND IT


ON













Chain Letter Type 6:








VIRUS WARNING


If you receive an email entitled "Bad times," delete it immediately. Do


not open it. Apparently


this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard


drive, but it will also


delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes


the stripes on ALL of


your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the


tracking on your VCR and


uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It


will re-calibrate your


refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk


curdles. It uses your


credit cards, forges your signature, and dates your girlfriend. It will


program your phone


AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. So be careful





Forward this to all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family,


enemies, plumbers, garbage men,


stock brokers, doctors, and any other acquaintances It's for their own


good Thank you.













Chain Letter Type 7:








Here is a cute picture I drew.








( /)


( / )


( / )


( /<> )


( / / )


/ __


( ) ( )











It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it will

brighten their day like


it did yours If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into your


house and eat all of your


socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your washing


machine because all of


your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day











There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main types of chain


letters, onto the ironic


part. In order for this to get any popularity, send it on If you don't


think it was funny at


all, don't bother, but otherwise, forward this sucker to everyone you


know If you don't, I don't


care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it.


Thanks





Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.


If it's a joke or


something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e.


the goatless boy from


Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in


a waterfall of sewage)


just delete it.