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Ba Dum Bum! Jokes & Humor – Got something funny ? Let’s see it! (PG-13 only please)

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Old 01-26-2006, 05:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

I'm moving to CANADA!
Changing my name!
Gotta go get a quote on a good life insurance policy!
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

I left out all the REALLY bad stuff. Having Chopped kill you is never a good time. But you SURE don't want him mad while he's doing it. That's when it get's personal. If I were you Texx, I'd shut up. Being as you have really nice carpet,you might want to head to Lowes and purchase a BUNCH of those 5mm rolls of plastic. Cover the floors, walls and ceilings. Just thinking of your next of kin. Clean up will be a snap! Get your affairs in order,,,,,,
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:56 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

Somebody take some before and after photos of this Texx fella. I want to make absolutely certain that I don't run into this guy in the showers at the Joe Nall.
From what I've been hearing (from a very reliable source, ask me and I'll tell ya), Texx and Biff seem to have a "special" relationship and it revolves around the showers at Triple Tree Aerodrome.
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

THIS JUST IN,, LATE BREAKING NEWS,,,EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT

Just spoke with Chopper on the phone. I accidently told him EVERYTHING Texx said about him. His resonse; "He said what?????? click,,,,,, dial tone. I think he took it well.
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:02 PM   #17 (permalink)
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BIff, Biff, biff...You know, that I know, that you KNOW, that you are making all this stuff up in retaliation to my cute little Southern humor list! Let's not get an innocent by-stander (Chopped with big muscles and a bad temper and probably more firearms than the entire NRA combined) to rip off my head and poop down my neck hole, just to get even! How about you and me Buddy...Mano e Mano! I think with some conditioning and strict dieting that I can take you down! Now what-cha-gonna do you big knuckle dragging YETTI ? Are ya SKEERED YET?
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Last edited by Texx; 01-26-2006 at 08:26 PM.
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:04 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by Edge540T_Flyer
Somebody take some before and after photos of this Texx fella. I want to make absolutely certain that I don't run into this guy in the showers at the Joe Nall.
From what I've been hearing (from a very reliable source, ask me and I'll tell ya), Texx and Biff seem to have a "special" relationship and it revolves around the showers at Triple Tree Aerodrome.
NOW THAT IS JUST SICK BRO!! Yikes! I like girls and Biff loves Sheep!
Just wanted to set the record straight!
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

OK

Enough of this you guys or I 'm off to the patents office to file a claim. Heres why.

Kiwis invented those big sloppy gumboots to sell to Australians so they could get a better hold of the mountain blondes.

Australians invented velcro gloves so they dont need the head in the fence method anymore.

Kiwis invented velco zippers for pants so as not to scare the sheep when they visit Oztralia.

Any more of this and I will get BAAAAABBAARRRAAAAA to call the feds.

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Old 01-26-2006, 10:26 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

There's a simple way out of this sticky situation Texx, just tell Chopped that you will marry his X and I'm sure he will find this as a suitable punishment........

But then again he may not be so cruel and off ya with one shot!..........Good luck!!

Chuck
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Old 01-27-2006, 01:02 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Chopper,,you better check this one,,,,,
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Old 01-27-2006, 01:07 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

The only crime I'm clearly guilty of is trying to tease one big Hill Billy (BIFF). Poor Chopped got pulled into it as Biffs unwilling bodyguard! (Biff is scared of me and my little anger management problem!) Makes for good comedy though!
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Old 01-27-2006, 01:12 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Too late Texx,,,I accidently showed Chopper where you were lipping off about him.This should be GOOOOd!!! Nice knowing you pal !!
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Old 01-27-2006, 01:29 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: North vs South

Biff pays me well to keep an eye on him, because hes to busy saying "look, this old guy just did a loopty loop....." And so I have to sit there and smack the old guys around. I saw the PM pop up as I was putting my SW99 Smith and Wesson back together, because a few nights ago I went to the guy who beat up my ex-wife, beat him silly, then pulled out my pocket knife and wrote ASS across his chest, backwards so he will be reminded that hes in the wrong league. And trust me, I aint making it up. Tex sounds like a good guy. Hes just still hung up on the civil war. Face it, all the south got was an orange care with a flag painted on top, that every black in America despises! Oh, and daisy dukes. Im for that! In fact, I will be in NY this summer. June 14th. I will be staying two blocks down from the Plaza. You'll have to find me, cause I heard once you pass over to Jersy, they all look like either Amy Fisher, of Botafucho! I can only imagine a sea of weight lifting pants, high top baskatball sneekers, and an ocean of IROC Z's. "Bitchen Camero", was the song.
Honestly, I have tried to be a lover, and a fighter, but that dosent mix, does it. Add 12 beers and your OJ Simpson, if your not carefull. But Tex, come on down to Yuma, and we'll have a good old time! Lots of cheap Mexican beers, and hookers with big adams apples! But, you have to wait in line behind the Marines. I'll take you for some riding out at the dunes in my sand car, and when you go to take a piss............long walk back to the US!
Anyhow, Im too zoncked out right now to smack down, but its always there waiting to pop its ugly head out.
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