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Old 01-28-2006, 08:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Welcome to the Super Bowl

Welcome to the Super Bowl in Detroit!!!

For all the visitors coming to Michigan for the Super Bowl . . .

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Deh-troit NOT
DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the Country Music Hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning .
Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going across the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and forever. Just deal with it.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory
defect or they are "out-of-towners" .

8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have total
right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take pictures.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading", he/she is.

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest
you duck.

13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a ¼ of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the intersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW you have gone left.

18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph???? DON'T EVEN ASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!

WELCOME, ENJOY YOUR STAY.
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Old 01-28-2006, 08:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
I have Issues
 
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Ain't that the truth + some
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Some of those rules could be adapted to Memphis... There's a stretch of highway 385 called Nonconnah Blvd that's got a 55 mph posted speed limit. Everyone calls in the Nonconahbon cause' 70mph isn't anything. Cops don't even begin to notice you untill about 80mph.
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Well, in deference to those folks from DEE-troit, I dare say driving in that city is akin to driving Miss Daisy compared to driving in Rome, Buenos Aires, Bogota, Caracas, Manhattan, Tokyo and my all time favorite Hong Kong...

I've had sooo many near-death experiences driving / riding overseas that anything this country has to throw at me ain't squat...

Even though traffic in the US is bad at times, most drivers here will yield when facing imminent death... No so overseas...

It's gonna be a great Super Bowl though... My money is on Seattle...
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Quote: Originally Posted by Torqued-Up
Well, in deference to those folks from DEE-troit, I dare say driving in that city is akin to driving Miss Daisy compared to driving in Rome, Buenos Aires, Bogota, Caracas, Manhattan, Tokyo and my all time favorite Hong Kong...

I've had sooo many near-death experiences driving / riding overseas that anything this country has to throw at me ain't squat...

Even though traffic in the US is bad at times, most drivers here will yield when facing imminent death... No so overseas...

It's gonna be a great Super Bowl though... My money is on Seattle...


Seattle 'eh...I've got a ten spot that says Pittsburgh, , you in?
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Ken, I love it, but you forgot to tell them how you really pronounce Gratiot.
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:45 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Gratiot is pronounced Gra-$hit. Not Grat-ee-ott.

While you are here for the Super Bowl, make sure you go to Harpos. If you go there, you will leave knowing what Detroit is all about. Actually Detroit was originally pronounced Da-twa. It was givin that name by the indians.

Mike Darr
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Old 01-29-2006, 12:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
uber mongo huckin'
 
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

seattle all the way go sea chickens
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:47 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

i knew you were from WA when you said seachickens lol. Im in total shock that were going. And we ARE going to win!!! Go Hawks!!!!
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Quote: Originally Posted by NW Hucker *FS*
i knew you were from WA when you said seachickens lol. Im in total shock that were going. And we ARE going to win!!! Go Hawks!!!!

And the dreams continue...
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Old 01-29-2006, 03:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
It's official, thanks Verne...
 
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Default Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Quote: Originally Posted by solitare
Ken, I love it, but you forgot to tell them how you really pronounce Gratiot.
Yep you are right!! Thanks for picking up my slack Mike
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Talking Re: Welcome to the Super Bowl

Ken,

Anytime...I am getting used to cleaning up after you Just kidding.

Mike
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