the wrong flight or something mark leesburg would be up to

[3ddd]

Don't be on this flight

"This is Captain leesburg speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard Dalton Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.

"That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

[3ddd]

sorry mark i thought it was good lol-see ya in tucson

[suraerobatics]

lol thats great

[FlyingSquirrel10]

GREAT!

[rcflyer54]

what will he think of next lol

[50%plane]

I love a good story where the hero lives!

[Beavis]

This is one of my favorites. Nothing like aviation humor. Frazier Briggs would approve. I'm starting a new contest. Who can bring the best joke to the TAS. Winner gets to feel up Max @ camp dumbass! Airplane maintenance

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud

(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

[3ddd]

now that's some good sh!t.i like the autoland,as far as feeling up max-i think we need to find a winner and fix the contest before it starts-i vote for G man