JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE

[Vic3D]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Ed Hornbuckle
	What do you get when you cross a Porto Rican and a Vietnamese? A car thief that can't drive.

LOL!

[TazmanianDevil]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Gus155
	Lance Armstrong was in deed found in possesion of banned substances in his hotel room in the south of france during his final Tour de-France......... The banned substances were soap, shampoo and tooth paste

LOL. That's good!

[RH1N0]

Shortest offensive joke:

A baby fur seal walks into a club.

[Gus155]

got a good alzheimers joke but i cant remeber it.

[A-Track]

Q: Whats a walrus and tupperware have in common?




A: They both like tight seals.

[Hector]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Ed Hornbuckle
	What do you get when you cross a Porto Rican and a Vietnamese? A car thief that can't drive.

Now I felt ofended by this coment. What really pist me off is that you wrote Porto Rican is Puertorican dam it!!!!!

He or she may not be able to drive but he could sure cook good!!!! and have a nice ass too Hahahaha!!!!

[twostroke]

This joke has been around for a while but I'll tell it again in case someone hasn't heard it:

There was a flight headed for Amsterdam and a young beautiful blonde lady had sat down in the "first class" section by mistake. One of the flight attendants asked her to move to the "coach" section as she did not have a ticket for the "first class" section. The blonde exclaimed, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Amsterdam and I'm not leaving this seat!"

Well the attendant told the co-pilot about the woman so he confronted the young lady and told her to move to the "coach" section as she did not have a ticket for first class. The young lady exlaimed,"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Amsterdam and I'm not leaving this seat!"

The co-pilot returned and spoke to the pilot about the problem and told him that they had no luck in making this young woman move. The pilot smiled and told the co-pilot that his wife was blonde and he knew how to handle this. He went back to the young lady (the co-pilot and all the attendants are watching to see what happens) and whispers something into the young blondes ear. The blonde immediately gets up and sits down in the coach section. The pilot, with a big smile, walks back to the cockpit to prepare for takeoff. In astonishment, the crew finally decides to ask the pilot what he said to the woman to make her move to the coach section. The pilot says "Aw, that was easy, I just told her that the "first class" section wasn't going to Amsterdam!"

[Ed Hornbuckle]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Hector
	Now I felt ofended by this coment. What really pist me off is that you wrote Porto Rican is Puertorican dam it!!!!! He or she may not be able to drive but he could sure cook good!!!! and have a nice ass too Hahahaha!!!!

Darn spell check gave me the wrong spelling. The joke is more geared towards New York state residents.

[crazyextra]

Are you serious? You think thats funny? Do you know how many kids are sexually molested and raped on a daily basis?? Come on Moderators, you find this crap acceptable?!?!?!!!!!

[MommaD]

Well, I guess this thread is well named.... crazyestra, I'm with you..that was not even a little funny!!

[50%plane]

Q: What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup!

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand...

Q: What's sex like for Michael Jackson?
A: Child's Play.

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?
A: "And then he touched me"

[KrisW]

It's 98 in the shade, and 90% humidity, yet the teensy halter top clad blond woman was mowing her lawn with a push mower. On the porch, her husband was drinking a beer, enjoying the shade, and the sight of his scantily clad wife doing the yard. Suddenly a car lurched to a stop in the street, and an obviously angry older woman jumped out and marched right up to the porch. Man was she MAD!!!

"You've got a lot of stones to sit there make her mow the lawn on a day like this!!!" she angrily exclaimed.

The man sat there for a minute, thinking about it, had a pull from his beer, then answered:

"You know, you're right, I DO have big stones, and everything else is big too. . ." and he winked at the old crow. ."which is why she wants to do the backyard, too, just as soon as she gets finished out here" . . and then he had another swig of his beer. . . . . .