JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE - Page 8

Skippykix · 02-08-2008, 03:54 PM

Thanks Guys, I have pretty muched soiled myself from laughing so hard. Keep'em coming!

Ed Hornbuckle · 02-08-2008, 04:03 PM

A young patriotic gay man that was interested in joining the army, was being interviewed by a
recruiter.
The recuiter asked him " If it really came down to it, could you kill another man?"

He replied " Well I guess so, but it would take me a very long time".

50%plane · 02-08-2008, 05:28 PM

Q: What's black and white and red all over, and can't turn around in a doorway?
A: A nun with a javelin through her head.

How can you tell Italian women are embarrassed by their long hair?
Because they wear long gloves to cover it up.

What do you call a nun in a blender?
Twisted Sister.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the door?
Matt.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute?
A two-ton pickup.

How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw the light bulb and one to grease the socket.

Why do Mexicans eat beans every day?
So they can take a bubble bath at night.

What's red and black and jumps in the air?
A baby in a toaster.

How can you tell if a fence is electrified?
Throw a puppy at it and see if he gets fried.

FOR VIC:
How do you wipe out 250 Puerto Rican families?
Blow up K-Mart.

LawnJockey · 02-08-2008, 08:38 PM

.

LawnJockey · 02-08-2008, 08:40 PM

What do Tornados and women have in common?

They moan and groan when there comming, and take your house when they leave. LOL

RADRICH · 02-08-2008, 09:41 PM

	Quote: Originally Posted by twostroke
	This joke has been around for a while but I'll tell it again in case someone hasn't heard it: There was a flight headed for Amsterdam and a young beautiful blonde lady had sat down in the "first class" section by mistake. One of the flight attendants asked her to move to the "coach" section as she did not have a ticket for the "first class" section. The blonde exclaimed, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Amsterdam and I'm not leaving this seat!" Well the attendant told the co-pilot about the woman so he confronted the young lady and told her to move to the "coach" section as she did not have a ticket for first class. The young lady exlaimed,"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Amsterdam and I'm not leaving this seat!" The co-pilot returned and spoke to the pilot about the problem and told him that they had no luck in making this young woman move. The pilot smiled and told the co-pilot that his wife was blonde and he knew how to handle this. He went back to the young lady (the co-pilot and all the attendants are watching to see what happens) and whispers something into the young blondes ear. The blonde immediately gets up and sits down in the coach section. The pilot, with a big smile, walks back to the cockpit to prepare for takeoff. In astonishment, the crew finally decides to ask the pilot what he said to the woman to make her move to the coach section. The pilot says "Aw, that was easy, I just told her that the "first class" section wasn't going to Amsterdam!"

Geeeeez...I'm still LMAO on this one!!!!!!!!!!!

DOORGUY1 · 02-08-2008, 10:12 PM

If big breasted women work at Hooters, where does a one legged women work?

IHOP!

Do you know what her name is?

ILEAN.

suraerobatics · 02-08-2008, 10:27 PM

what do women and airplanes have in common

they both have cockpits!

MR G · 02-09-2008, 09:39 PM

This is a pretty good thread, great jokes(all but one anyway). I alway look forward to looking for the next joke. Keepem coming!!

cadconversions · 02-09-2008, 11:25 PM

What does a Texas tornado and a TN divorce have in common? Someone's loosing a trailer...

Ed Hornbuckle · 02-10-2008, 01:09 AM

What's the difference between a dyke and a cow?

30 lbs and flannel shirt.

madmax · 02-10-2008, 03:23 AM

Dude, this thread is soo toast. We've gotten a pile of complaints on the back side. Sorry fellas and thanks for understanding our deal. Sorry Taz, nuthin' personal

MD

02-08-2008, 03:54 PM	#85 (permalink)
Skippykix Flyin' Around Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 8	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE Thanks Guys, I have pretty muched soiled myself from laughing so hard. Keep'em coming!

02-08-2008, 04:03 PM	#86 (permalink)
Ed Hornbuckle Super Contributer Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Texas, United States of North Mexico Posts: 128	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE A young patriotic gay man that was interested in joining the army, was being interviewed by a recruiter. The recuiter asked him " If it really came down to it, could you kill another man?" He replied " Well I guess so, but it would take me a very long time". __________________ Obama's Hope and my Change (and Dollars)...

02-08-2008, 05:28 PM	#87 (permalink)
50%plane cool,,, Alright!!! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Static Display Age: 21 Posts: 7,790 Blog Entries: 69 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 3	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE Q: What's black and white and red all over, and can't turn around in a doorway? A: A nun with a javelin through her head. How can you tell Italian women are embarrassed by their long hair? Because they wear long gloves to cover it up. What do you call a nun in a blender? Twisted Sister. What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the door? Matt. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute? A two-ton pickup. How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw the light bulb and one to grease the socket. Why do Mexicans eat beans every day? So they can take a bubble bath at night. What's red and black and jumps in the air? A baby in a toaster. How can you tell if a fence is electrified? Throw a puppy at it and see if he gets fried. FOR VIC: How do you wipe out 250 Puerto Rican families? Blow up K-Mart.

02-08-2008, 08:38 PM	#88 (permalink)
LawnJockey cuttin the grass with balsa Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Idaho City, Idaho Age: 40 Posts: 686 Blog Entries: 1 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE . __________________ The word of the day is LEGS. Spread the word. Last edited by WOODisGOOD; 02-09-2008 at 10:44 PM. Reason: lets keep it PG 13

02-08-2008, 08:40 PM	#89 (permalink)
LawnJockey cuttin the grass with balsa Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Idaho City, Idaho Age: 40 Posts: 686 Blog Entries: 1 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE What do Tornados and women have in common? They moan and groan when there comming, and take your house when they leave. LOL __________________ The word of the day is LEGS. Spread the word.


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02-08-2008, 10:12 PM	#91 (permalink)
DOORGUY1 JUST HUCKING AROUND Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: MERIDIAN, ID Age: 39 Posts: 34	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE If big breasted women work at Hooters, where does a one legged women work? IHOP! Do you know what her name is? ILEAN. __________________ GOLF ON THE FRONT, FLYING ON THE BACK!

02-08-2008, 10:27 PM	#92 (permalink)
suraerobatics Bad-ass Super Contributer! Join Date: May 2006 Location: troy missouri Age: 37 Posts: 317 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE what do women and airplanes have in common they both have cockpits! __________________ Dale Morgan 2007 HUCKFEST WAS BAD ASS 2008 HUCKFEST WAS SUPER SUPER BADASS everything has an expiration date. you,me and my planes have met a few of them

02-09-2008, 09:39 PM	#93 (permalink)
MR G Gettin' Lower! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 61	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE This is a pretty good thread, great jokes(all but one anyway). I alway look forward to looking for the next joke. Keepem coming!!

02-10-2008, 01:09 AM	#95 (permalink)
Ed Hornbuckle Super Contributer Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Texas, United States of North Mexico Posts: 128	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE What's the difference between a dyke and a cow? 30 lbs and flannel shirt. __________________ Obama's Hope and my Change (and Dollars)...

02-10-2008, 03:23 AM	#96 (permalink)
madmax Stiiiiiiil Huckin'! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Mexifornia Age: 36 Posts: 9,192 Blog Entries: 8 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Re: JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE Dude, this thread is soo toast. We've gotten a pile of complaints on the back side. Sorry fellas and thanks for understanding our deal. Sorry Taz, nuthin' personal MD __________________ Sponsored by Visa, American Express, SLEEPYC, and SnapaSaurus. Facebook: Maxon Duncan

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