Chuck Norris one liners...

3DFreak576 · 06-02-2006, 01:06 AM

Alright guys, I dont know if any of you have heard these....but there are sooo many of them, post the ones you know

ill start it off with a few of my favorites

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris took the Pepsi challenge.....and won!

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

Disciple · 06-02-2006, 01:12 AM

Chuck norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks.

GremlinX · 06-02-2006, 01:30 AM

This thread is NON Burger...

mikeyj86 · 06-02-2006, 01:31 AM

chuck norris 'can' touch MC Hammer

chuck norris counted to infinity . . . TWICE

chuck norris doesn't push himself up during push-ups, he pushes the earth down

mikeyj86 · 06-02-2006, 01:37 AM

some more. . .

the chief export of chuck norris is pain

chuck norris is currnetly suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are the trademarked names of his left and right legs

chuck norris' hand is the only hand to beat a royal flush

I about cried when I first heard these, there's a whole website, chucknorrisfacts.com

Vic3D · 06-02-2006, 01:45 AM

	Quote: Originally Posted by Disciple
	Chuck norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandbag Special · 06-02-2006, 01:59 AM

Chuck norris' tears have been found to cure cancer, the bad news is chuck norris never cries!

Sandbag Special · 06-02-2006, 02:00 AM

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once had a contest to see who had more testicles, Chuck Norris won by 5.

Sandbag Special · 06-02-2006, 02:02 AM

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris

SBR_RV · 06-02-2006, 02:04 AM

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

here you go. the whole lot of em.

Kevin Y · 06-02-2006, 02:10 AM

	Quote: Originally Posted by Sandbag Special
	Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once had a contest to see who had more testicles, Chuck Norris won by 5.

Oh my god that is freakin awesome!!

mikeyj86 · 06-02-2006, 02:31 AM

chuck norris doesn't stub his toes, he accidently destroys chairs, tables, and beds

chuck norris doesn't own an oven, microwave or stove, because revenge is a dish best served cold

helen kellers favorite color is chuck norris

06-02-2006, 01:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
3DFreak576 Shank Bangin' Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Daytona Beach, Florida Age: 20 Posts: 617 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Chuck Norris one liners... Alright guys, I dont know if any of you have heard these....but there are sooo many of them, post the ones you know ill start it off with a few of my favorites Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. Chuck Norris took the Pepsi challenge.....and won! Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

06-02-2006, 01:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
Disciple Bad-ass Super Contributer! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: San Angelo Texas Age: 18 Posts: 201	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... Chuck norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks.

06-02-2006, 01:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
GremlinX Father of the Scale Furum Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Chapel Hill, TN Age: 31 Posts: 4,465	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... This thread is NON Burger... __________________ "I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa" Kit builders check out.... http://bobflies.com/ 2.4 GHz is for your home telephone... 14MZ and 72 MHz for huckin' baby!!

06-02-2006, 01:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
mikeyj86 Pro Bro #2336 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Cincy, Ohio Age: 22 Posts: 407	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... chuck norris 'can' touch MC Hammer chuck norris counted to infinity . . . TWICE chuck norris doesn't push himself up during push-ups, he pushes the earth down

06-02-2006, 01:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
mikeyj86 Pro Bro #2336 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Cincy, Ohio Age: 22 Posts: 407	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... some more. . . the chief export of chuck norris is pain chuck norris is currnetly suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are the trademarked names of his left and right legs chuck norris' hand is the only hand to beat a royal flush I about cried when I first heard these, there's a whole website, chucknorrisfacts.com


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06-02-2006, 01:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
Sandbag Special US-Soccer "Don't Tread On Me" Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Jupiter, FL Age: 19 Posts: 359	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... Chuck norris' tears have been found to cure cancer, the bad news is chuck norris never cries! __________________ Member of Team BVM Mode 1 Pylon Huckin www.LeeUlingerModels.com

06-02-2006, 02:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Sandbag Special US-Soccer "Don't Tread On Me" Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Jupiter, FL Age: 19 Posts: 359	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong once had a contest to see who had more testicles, Chuck Norris won by 5. __________________ Member of Team BVM Mode 1 Pylon Huckin www.LeeUlingerModels.com

06-02-2006, 02:02 AM	#9 (permalink)
Sandbag Special US-Soccer "Don't Tread On Me" Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Jupiter, FL Age: 19 Posts: 359	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile. Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris __________________ Member of Team BVM Mode 1 Pylon Huckin www.LeeUlingerModels.com

06-02-2006, 02:04 AM	#10 (permalink)
SBR_RV Bad-ass Super Contributer! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Melbourne Australia Age: 20 Posts: 406	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ here you go. the whole lot of em.

06-02-2006, 02:31 AM	#12 (permalink)
mikeyj86 Pro Bro #2336 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Cincy, Ohio Age: 22 Posts: 407	Re: Chuck Norris one liners... chuck norris doesn't stub his toes, he accidently destroys chairs, tables, and beds chuck norris doesn't own an oven, microwave or stove, because revenge is a dish best served cold helen kellers favorite color is chuck norris

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