lame joke thread

[Boghatize]

Why did the Rooster cross the road?










































Cause he couldn't get his d*** out of the Chicken!

[Pro1Foam]

>CHINESE PROVERBS>> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >Man who run in front of car get tired.
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> >> > >
> >> > >Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*
> >> > >
> >> > >It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >> > >
> >> > >Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
> >> > >
> >> > >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[3DFreak576]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
.
..
...
....
...
..
.
He's all right now.

[EKI16]

what does that religious Billy Grahm guy and chicago bears have in common























they can both get 65,000 people on there knees yelling JESUS CHRIST!

[yakwrecker]

yo mamma so smelly she made right guard turn left, secret told on her, and the old spice boat sunk.

[Dan J]

Did you hear about the plastic surgen who hung himself?

[Dangerous Dan]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She
holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" ?

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[JimC-MD]

Biff thinks he can last ten minutes in the front seat of a full scale Extra with Matt flying.

[NCFRgal]

	Quote: Originally Posted by JimC-MD
	Biff thinks he can last ten minutes in the front seat of a full scale Extra with Matt flying.

[exeter_acres]

With all the sadness and trauma currently going on in the world, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person that almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

[Dan J]

	Quote: Originally Posted by JimC-MD
	Biff thinks he can last ten minutes in the front seat of a full scale Extra with Matt flying.

this is the lame joke thread!........that's a good one, watch it. LOL

[Pilot'sWyfe]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and
would just walk home.

On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket
and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up
a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the
store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchase home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old
lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get
to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of
fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot."


The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the
bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and
carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl
home.

On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley.
We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a
lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when
we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my
skirt,and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, and a
gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I
possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket,
put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."