North vs South

[Texx]

After giving this topic some thought, I've come to understand the unique differences!

North vs. South

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be
along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.
This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is
plural possessive.!

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" and "Do what?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on
how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying.
They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck
or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced
dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you
should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words
he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything
or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own
shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas
taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush
green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children,
don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the
cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

[Biff]

I'm in shock. This site is all about positive information, not blanket stereotyping. Texx you have started a thread that makes the never ending motor,radio battles seem like ice cream and a walk in the park. I have read and re-rud your post and can't seem to find any redeeming qualities,,,anywhere. I will however take the copy I just printed to a couple good buddies of mine for their take. I'm not so sure you should make plans for visiting the area in May.

I hope fellow Giants members and guests, you don't think we are all as culturally intolerant as Texx . We tend to be more open to differences than he. Perhaps Texx if you traveled beyond the mass housing cookie cutter neighborhood you choose to inhabit, you would see diverse cultures as a positive.

As I read your post,I saw parallels with that of our brother Choppedlow. Chopped boldly stated "Dudes,I got a problem. I'm going to beat my problem like a moped driving Richard Simmons at a Hell's Angels rally. Don't need no help,,,whooping it on me own." You Tex are screaming for help. I hope Giant members will rally to your side. You have issues Texx. We'll try support first. If that goes no where, we'll send Chopped to NJ for some "Wall to wall Yuma charm school" therapy. Chopped could use the fresh air and exercise, you could use the pounding.

Chopped,,be ready in a moments notice.

[Biff]

This just in,,,,,,,
Got a PM from Texx he said "Tell that choppy guy I said he's a punk !! If he EVER see's me he better run the other way cause I'm gonna smack him into next week!!!! He'll be the first guy ever rolled through the gates of heaven in a wheel chair!!!! Next time he wakes up after seeing me,,he'll be breathing through a scab and eating through a tube!!! You tell him I said so,,,MY REAL NAME IS JOHN KOHLER AND I LIVE IN NEW JERSEY,,,,,, IF HE WANTS A PIECE OF ME HAVE HIM BRING IT!!!!!!!!
Well dear brother Chopped, I passed the message to you,, do as you feel.

Biff "the healer"
PS,,if this message has a last edited by Texx on the bottom left corner,,,,Texx sold out, comedy is some times painful.

[ShortBus]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Biff
	Chopped could use the fresh air and exercise,

Fresh Air????


"New Jersey, Come see for your self" (If you have a brain go somewhere else)

[Texx]

Baaahaaaa! I haven't laughed this hard since I got the Hee Haw re-run channel installed on my Cable TV!

After all the Yankee this and Yankee that... I felt that I needed to stand up for my fellow Northern Brothers! All in good fun Biffy! Those Blue Collar Comedy guys do more damage than little ol' me!

And I NEVER dissed CHOPPED! I'm no dope...even his picture scares me! Would you pick a fight with that guy?? And he has guns too!

Touche' Lil' Abner...er, uhhh I mean BIFF!

[Biff]

A classic case of back-peddling. You made the statement Texx, I left out the real bad parts as Chopper is still gaining steam. Guns? Look at him,, he only shoots the fast runners in the butt and guys trying to escape in vehicles. Just so he can catch them and have the pleasure of beating them down. Nice knowing you Texx,, fare well old friend. A Dios , bon voyage .


Just don't try using a gun on Chopper,, he says the larger caliber bullets sting.

[kombat kid]

wow..what southerners are you talking about..? Im from florida, and i have never seen anything posted above come true... although there is a small group of people that have their own parts of the state to themselves, and are in a class of their own..their called "the rednecks"..avoid them at all cost..lol(seriously)

[Texx]

Come on now Biff...you are a-fibbin' again! Just face it...I GOT YA!

[Biff]

Tell yourself that when Chopper "knocks" on your door and the whole front of your house falls down.(both stories) Oh you got me Texx,,yup nothing I can do now. Ouch I'm hurt. Oh,,please,,,no more,,,you're killing me,,,,,,you win.

At this point I can't wait for Chopper to log on. I'm sure you are less enthusiastic than I. You got me? OK. MMMuuuuhhhaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaa!!

[WOODisGOOD]

Texx,
I sure this is an over sight on your part, but what about the people with 4 vehicles on blocks in the front yard. None of them run but one day.I have seen this first hand at Biffs pad.

[Biff]

Chopper,,, Tony(wood is good) said he was thinking of you when he took the shot for his avatar.

[Do-rag]

Man I sure wouldn't want to be Texx now that Biff told Chopped what he said. I am glad I live in South although I will still probally hear when Chopped arrives at Texx's house.

You are still the man Biff!!!

[Texx]

I'm moving to CANADA!
Changing my name!
Gotta go get a quote on a good life insurance policy!

[Biff]

I left out all the REALLY bad stuff. Having Chopped kill you is never a good time. But you SURE don't want him mad while he's doing it. That's when it get's personal. If I were you Texx, I'd shut up. Being as you have really nice carpet,you might want to head to Lowes and purchase a BUNCH of those 5mm rolls of plastic. Cover the floors, walls and ceilings. Just thinking of your next of kin. Clean up will be a snap! Get your affairs in order,,,,,,

[SofaKing]

Somebody take some before and after photos of this Texx fella. I want to make absolutely certain that I don't run into this guy in the showers at the Joe Nall.
From what I've been hearing (from a very reliable source, ask me and I'll tell ya), Texx and Biff seem to have a "special" relationship and it revolves around the showers at Triple Tree Aerodrome.