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Old 02-05-2006, 02:38 AM   #1
wizard
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Default letters between husband and wife

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was
"You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you
can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence
that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your
letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
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Old 02-05-2006, 05:40 AM   #2
KrisW
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Default Re: letters between husband and wife

Ther phrase "poetic Justice" comes to mind. .

If only all divorces were that easy
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Old 02-05-2006, 06:24 AM   #3
Boulder
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Default Re: letters between husband and wife

I've seen that one somewhere...It still makes me smile everytime I read it, though

Now, where did I put those dang lottery tickets?
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Old 02-05-2006, 08:26 AM   #4
crazyextra
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Default Re: letters between husband and wife

Thats Frickin Awesome!!!
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Old 02-05-2006, 11:46 AM   #5
Cajun
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Default Re: letters between husband and wife

That's too funny!!!
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