You know you're gettin' old when...

[Boulder]

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES: An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disr egard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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FAMILY Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!" Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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LITTLE LADY: A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
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OLD FRIENDS: Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is"
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need t o know?"
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SENIOR DRIVING As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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DRIVING Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she tu rned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"
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TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!

[BOSSIER_ROB]

LMAO!!! That is great! Kinda scary though. Is this what we have to look forward to when we reach our golden years??? God I hope not! lol I'll be the guy driving the wrong way!lol

[MommaD]

You know you are getting old when you laugh at "old lady" jokes !!!

[Redneck Shaun]

LOL.........
Thursday is my birthday......This hit to close to home Ken..

[thewrap]

Jeeze I guess my Mom is old. She can't drive the right way to save her life.LOL

[Boulder]

	Quote: Originally Posted by thewrap
	Jeeze I guess my Mom is old. She can't drive the right way to save her life.LOL

I'm tellin' !!!!!!

[rede2fly]

i know iam getting old the hair on my azz is going grey

[snap]

You know your gettin old when the twenty somthing hottie cuttin whats left of your hair comments "I don't mind trimmin your ear hair, it reminds me of my dad."

[Tailchaser]

	Quote: Originally Posted by MommaD
	You know you are getting old when you laugh at "old lady" jokes !!!

No, you know your getting old when you think, "Hey, that ain't funny!!"

Chuck

[emessys]

Reading this thread is depressing me.

It makes me wonder if my knees can hold out for another ski season.

If not, the planes is all thats left. Gawd!!!!

[wizard]

You know that you are getting old when.......Your daughters wedding photos include pictures of your grandchildren.

[RADRICH]

	Quote: Originally Posted by wizard
	You know that you are getting old when.......Your daughters wedding photos include pictures of your grandchildren.

hehehehe...nothin' a bottle of bourbon and a day at numb thumbs couldn't cure (Make ya' feel like a teenager again!!!!!!!!!)

[NCFRgal]

	Quote: Originally Posted by thewrap
	Jeeze I guess my Mom is old. She can't drive the right way to save her life.LOL

So if you are 15, is she, 35???!!!!

[thewrap]

	Quote: Originally Posted by NCFRgal
	So if you are 15, is she, 35???!!!!

Your only off by about 15 years. But she's great. Puts with just about everything now. ( I had to move my planes to the shed to get this far.) But takes me deer hunting, camping, puts up with friends. Just doesn't let me play football.

[thewrap]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Boulder
	I'm tellin' !!!!!!

What?????? I didn't say anything.