The Purina diet

[Boulder]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question
wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....


Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

[Dsp Dave]

That's funny right there!
When it comes to diets people will try anything and believe everything!

[50%plane]

ROFL!!!!

[eblenkle]

Hey Boulder

Moments like that, don't you wish you had a camera to capture the look that lady gave you?
... Priceless.

Ernie

[Boulder]

	Quote: Originally Posted by eblenkle
	Hey Boulder Moments like that, don't you wish you had a camera to capture the look that lady gave you? ... Priceless. Ernie

LOL!! I wish the story was mine, I got it in an e-mail from my brother-in-law.

[eblenkle]

This one happened about 30 years ago...

... I went grocery shopping with my wife. She had one grocery cart and was busy loading it up with groceries. I had another cart with my son sleeping peacefully in the bottom of the cart. Some lady comes up to me and says," what a cute little boy, where'd you get him?" Without even giving this a second thought I turned and said," A dead baby sale, Aisle 3." Turned and walked away.

I wish I had a camera for that one.

Ernie

[Gus155]

That was damn funny.
Tried an Alcohol diet once, lost 3 days in a week.

[eblenkle]

	Quote: Originally Posted by Gus155
	That was damn funny. Tried an Alcohol diet once, lost 3 days in a week.

That's what that No17 beer will do to ya. Good Stuff.

Ernie

[swheaton]

great story.......

[thewrap]

I did the same thing at this one albertsons. Now there out of business. LOL funny.

[wizard]

Talk about getting strange looks....

When my daughter was very young, probably about 3 or 4, we were shopping at wally-world. She saw a toy that she thought she just had to have. It was one of those things that was for kids much older and very expensive. While I did my best to try to explain that she was not going to get the toy, she proceeded to throw a full lay on the floor kicking and screaming tantrum (she takes after my ex-wife). While not being one to yell at my daughter or give spankings when other forms of punishments would work first, I proceeded to pick up my daughter and put her across my shoulder, still kicking and screaming. I left the cart with the items I was going to purchase sitting in the isle and headed for the doors. This little old lady was giving me the evil eye as I approached the doors. I just looked at her and said "My kid would never act like this." and continued out to the car.

To this day I still wonder if the local police department got a call about a kidnapping.