A guide to womens vocabulary

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FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so its an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something, and you should be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. Nothing usually signifies an
argument that will last Five Minutes and end with Fine.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and will end with the word Fine.

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means I give up or do what you want because I dont care You will get a Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing.

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. Soft Sighs mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THATS OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. Thats Okay means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. Thats Okay is often used with the word Fine and in conjunction with a Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldnt get a Thats Okay.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say youre welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from Thanks. A woman will say, Thanks A Lot when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the Loud Sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.

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Scary how accurate this little explanation is

now if I had only known this a few years ago!!