Cockpit Voice Recorder from US Air 1549

[N726AC]

Here is the transcript from the voice recorder from the Hudson
River Crash

PIC is a Pilot in Command, SIC is Second in Command, you all
know who Sully is


SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot (that's
a baby helicopter a real eggbeater)? Just shut the f*cker down,
boy. Oh, and tell Departure that we need to come back in and
land. F*cking birds..."
SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne

this morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got
my commercial helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and
by the way, sir, we're not climbing, if you even care. Maybe
your decision to take on that extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't
so hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union
keeps you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."

<Bang!>

Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read
the gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"

SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "******* Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here
every winter. Why, if I ever*see* another Canadian I'm gonna
punch him right in the throat. I*HATE* Canadians."

SIC: "Everybody does,boss.. Think we can make Teterboro or
straight-in to 22 at Newark?"

Sully: "Yeah,probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark
. I've flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind.
And their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking
river than land at Teterboro. Hey...."

SIC: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sail boats with some
prick Canadian snowbirds."

SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946.
I think it was in a...Piper...something or another, I forget.
Never mind. It'll all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water
Landing checklist and run it."

SIC: (flipping through the stack ofchecklists) "Can't seem to
find one for that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn
and tell the people to put their heads between their legs and
kiss...no wait, that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make
it, 'brace for collision'...no wait, make it 'brace for impact.'
Yeah, that's better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side
of the plane they can seethe Intrepid Museum , and that if they'd
like to visit it, they'll be able to, this afternoon, like, in
about twenty minutes. Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring
me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff
drink. And have that one with the big tits bring it up. If I'm
gonna die, I wanna die drunk and with a boner."

SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"

Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really appreciate
it if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm fairly
certain that my grandfatherdid not die with a boner. I mean,
have you ever met mygrandmother?"

SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you
the Hero Pilot of theYear."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what
the fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News
calls me a hero!"

SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember
*my* name. It'll be'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain
Sully, the big f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one
in the cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot
at heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole
career to be called a hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two
years to go to retirement. That was close!"

SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit,
no sail boats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those
damn sightseeing helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

SIC: "Beats the **** out of me."

Sully: "Vref?"

SIC: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spear's birthday?"

SIC: "December 2,1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING CAUSE IT GOT ALL WET]

[WangoTango]

Absolutely hilarious! Hey Sully! Can you canoe?
WT

[sukhoi26]

OMG I can't see through all the tears. I thought I was going to pee my pants. Hilarious!

[airbusmech]

LOL!

[paintball_kidz]

	Quote: Originally Posted by N726AC
	Subject: Cockpit Voice Recorder Sully: "******* Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here >> every winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch >> him right in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians." >> [END OF RECORDING]

FAIL! funny though

[Dan_nO]

Oh GOSH DARNIT, here I am playing dispatcher for Twostroke trying to get him home from Jersey in the snow and I am reading this to him over the Nextel, its a wonder I didnt cause him to run off the road in the snow from the tears in his eyes from listening to me read this to him lol.

[jmoesdad]

i think this would have helped...

[skymaster68]

JAJJAJA

[lazun]

Too bad it is not real. Funny however!!!! LOL!!!

[A-Track]

Holy S&!% that was funny.

[lazun]

Late afternoon view of the Hudson on the LENDY 5 Arrival. LENDY at 250/FL190.

[mporlier]

I am a canadian...I dont get it?


LOL!!!!

[cap231jim]

O.K. I waited as long as I can......

There are some things that are in really bad taste to make fun of (your own sister's rape would also be in this category).

I expect this sort of thing from the general public.....but not from my "brothers in aviation".

For your info the F/O had at least 15,000 hours; the C/O at least 18,000 hours.

The front end crew on an airliner does not behave as depicted, but rather as a CREW. (LAZUN at Jet Blue you KNOW this)

Yes I have a dog in this fight. I last flew the accident airplane to Bermuda and back on April 10 of this year.

Please spare me the "can't you take a joke" comments.

EXTREMELY BAD TASTE.

Jim

[N726AC]

Hi Jim, I posted that here not to offend a fellow pilot. It is obviously a spoof.

I received this in e-mail form from a 20,000+ hour current US Airways Captain. I am fairly certain that our "brothers in aviation" are grateful that the whole event ended as well as it did. This obviously could have ended much worse.

It is people like you that allow us to travel with confidence. I know that the front seats are not handed out to 500 hour pilots with a fresh IFR ticket. A tremendous amount of hard work, time,money and talent are involved. The level of training of any crew is to be acknowledged and applauded. Without knowing the exact details it appears this crew did every thing they could for the safety of their passengers and the surrounding New York City.

I'm not sure I understand your reference to violence pertaining to an obvious parody.
I am regretful that you or anyone else find this offensive, it was not the intent. I was actually more concerned about the Canadian remarks than the C/O or F/O references.

Please accept my apologies for offending you,
Tony Greene

[WangoTango]

I see both your points. I'm just glad there are professionals like Sully and both of you up front making decisions! I envy all of you guys that get into a cockpit every day!
WT