bureaucracy...but yet.

[TazmanianDevil]

time to read it to the end.

> Dam Notice

>
> This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a
> pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of
> Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is
> hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response
> letter.
>
>
>
> SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming
> County
>
>
> Dear Mr. DeVries:
>
> It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
> that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
> referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
> landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
> activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across
> the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
>
> A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
> review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
> issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is
> in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
> Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451of the Public Acts of
>
> 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
> Compiled Laws, annotated.
>
> The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
> failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
> downstream locations.
>
> We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
> permitted.
>
> The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities
> at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
> removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.
> All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,
> 2008.
>
> Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
> that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure
> to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on
> the site may result in this case being referred for elevated
> enforcement action. We
> anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
> Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
> questions.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> David L. Price
> District Representative and Water Management Division
>
>
>
> Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
>
>
> Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
>
> Dear Mr. Price,
>
> Your certified letter dated 11/25/07 has been handed to
> me to respond
> to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget
> Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .
>
> A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
> constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet
> stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor
> supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that
> you call their skillful use of nature’s building materials 'debris.'
>
> I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their
> dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can
> safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills,
> their
> dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their
> dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
>
>
>
>
> These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request,
> I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a
> dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
>
> My first dam question to you is:
>
> (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
>
> (2) do you re
> quire all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
> dam request?
>
> If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
> the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
> other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
>
> (Perhaps we will see if there
> really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
> the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
> Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
> Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)
>
> I have several concerns.. My first concern is, aren't the beavers
> entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
> financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation ~~
> so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
> Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
> during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a
> natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
> other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
> harassing them and calling them dam names.
>
> If you want the stream 'restored to a dam free-flow condition please
> contact the
> beavers ~~ but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did
> not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read
> English.
>
> In my humble opi
> nion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
> their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green
> and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to
> live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
> Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the
> natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
>
> So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
> referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
> 1/31/2008? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and
> there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.
>
> In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
> environmental
> quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are
> actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
> persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you
> are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are
> not careful where they dump!
>
> Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
> contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response
> to your dam office.
>
> THANK YOU,
>
> RYAN DEVRIES
> & THE DAM BEAVERS

[en1]

Dam funny....

[3DHobbyShop]

It is really dam funny, and according to snopes it's true, but apparently it actually happened in Michigan.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp

[mikaelmiki]

Halarious

[askforplanes]

Wow......funny!

JP

[wylieruneyjr]

DAM-MIT

[classclown]

Dam stupid officials.

[ferocious frankie]

Dam good and dam funny story.

[scott m lyons]

That's funny right ther I don't care who you are!!!!hahahahaha