Greatest practical jokes?

[Biff]

Being as the Giants are a pretty funny group, I'd like to hear of the best practical jokes you've heard of.
I've been the butt of a hundred of them, guess I can chalk that up as revenge. Pulled a couple of good ones as well.

A guy I used to work with was a creature of habit (DEATH to the joke pullers of the world!) Every morning as he left for first cup of 7-11 coffee he would hit his windshield wiper as he was a clean freak. In January (cold) I caught his truck un locked and un gaurded. I ran some fuel tubing through his fire wall and CA'd it to the steering column. Then put a relay that stayed on once activated where his momentary switch was in the wiper pump circuit. Next order of business was to replace wiper fluid with red food coloring in water (heavy on the red) and a bottle of Brutt cologne. The tubing was pointed in the crotchal region. Vinyl seats, old truck, work pants,,,,,, Once the pump came on it stayed on. Called in to the boss's office on that one. Company wide distribution about why we were to put an end to humor in the work place and who caused it.

The wife is a self proclaimed cookie dough addict. As a professional equestrian, she's also INSANE about her weight. She looks for ounces as opposed to pounds. "Honey I need help with the cookie dough. I can't stop. I gained a half a pound last month. This needs to stop,, help !!" You all have seen the cookie dough plastic round container. Looks exactly like the plastic round container sausage comes in,,,,,,, Re wrapped sausage with cookie dough outer plastic looks just like regular old cookie dough.>>>>> CAUTION<<<< DO NOT DO THIS!!! Voice of experience guys! My wife WAS NOT AMUSED! In retaliation she substituted castor oil in a beer bottle. As I chilled on the couch, she asked if I would like some popcorn and a golden delicious beverage. Sure baby, thanks! Thought I was being rewarded for being a good guy. Popcorn yummy,, first swig of cold frosty,,,,,,,,,,

A couple of years ago a redneck buddy of mine was at the Joe Nall. We had some hunters I've known for years ask if they could take a walk in the woods to see deer sign. I said sure and asked my hunting buddy (redneck) if he'd like to come too. "Sure , I know where they're bedding! Come on I'll show you." We all plodded into the woods for a nature hike. We walked up to a stand of honey suckle. My buddy walked away for a moment, then called for us all to come see something. He reached down and picked up some brown, round droppings. He picked up 4 or 5 and plopped them in his mouth. As he chewed (everyone was wrenching!) he said "Yup,,, big buck,,,, he's eating honey suckle and acorns." The guys were horrified and one actually puked ! They all looked at the guy like he was the dumbest sucker they've ever seen. "Hey, if you hunt as serious as I do, you need to use all tools available." My other buddies had had enough and walked out of the woods alone saying us rednecks are the stupidest guys on earth. Horrified, I looked at my buddy and questioned his sanity as well. Dude, I like hunting as much as the next guy, but eating deer poop to figure out where to hunt is just beyond what I'm prepared to do! You've lost it bro! He looked at me with a smile and offered a raisin from the small box in his pocket. "Eat deer poop? You think I'm nuts?"

[SleepyC]

HAHAHAHA.

Dude the wiper one is AWSOME!!

hahahahahaha

[Texx]

Back in my College years I had three room mates. One guy in particular would never go to the grocery store and eat everyone elses food and then some. This dude would eat just about anything, especially after coming home from the local watering hole half in the bag! His favorite druken midnight snack was stealing my other roomates can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. We figured that payback was long overdue, so.....the next time at the Market we bought the usual Dinty Moore Beef Stew can and a can of Chunky dog food in the same sized can. The label on the dog food can said Home Style Chunky Beef Stew and the picture looked good. It had chunks of beef and vegies too boot! After carfully removing the Dinty Moore label with some steam from a boiling pot of water, we re-applied it to the dog food can and put it back in the cupbord. We also made sure that there was absolutely no food in the kitchen other than some old milk and various condiments! Brian (the food snatcher) came home at about 11:30 that night and proceded to grab the can, open it and warm it up on the stove. He then brought the hot steaming pan right off the stove and plopped down on the couch where my other room mate and I were sitting (trying not to laugh or wrech).
The boy dug in hard and heavy making all kinds of Mmmmm & Yummmm sounds!!! After several heaping spoon full of that crap he says "I think they changed the recipe on this stuff, it tastes way better than it used to!! I nearly barfed up what I had eated that entire week!

We never fessed up to it...he seemed so happy, why spoil it!

[STR8HUCKIN]

At the Circus style fun fly in so co last year me and Garrett got a little enebriated and glued a friend of ours hand to his face while he peacefully slept in the rv......Unforntunately garrett had borrowed some ZAP ultra thin from someone........Im not sure if the smell of the smoke and burning flesh woke him up or just the plain burning....he was not a happy camper

[Kiwi]

Biffy

You have opened pandoras box here mate.

I get home next week and will get started. Sounds like fun.

Kiwi

[why_fly_high]

The last one is similar to what I pulled off on my now wife/then girlfriend. WE had only been dating for a couple months. Everytime I would come to visit her 5 pound poodle named Tootsie would pinch a chunker on the floor out of jelousy. I called them Tootsie rolls. A buddy of mine made brownies one day and they came out under cooked. They could be formed into the perfect poodle poo. Well that night I wait till my wife leaves the room and put the brownie on the floor. She comes back in and see the faux poo and yells at the dog. I say, "Don't worry about it, I'll get it." I proceeded to pick it up with my bare hands and she freaks out. Then I take a bite of it and ask, "What have you been feeding her?" She then just falls silent with an utterly horified look. I let her off the hook too quickly though. I started laughing and had to end it.

Dan

[SleepyC]

I just remembered a good one.
Back in college a guy and me drove home from a racing event,
He was riding shotgun, and I was driving.

Well he fell asleep, and I drove all the way home.
When we got back I pulled into the apartments parking lot,
and pulled into a parking spot right infront of a brick wall.

Got a smile on my face, and proceded to back up a little and then drive forward slowly,
HIT the brakes HARD and yelled ARGHHHHHHHHH.

My buddy woke up looked up saw a brick wall STARTED SCREAMING
and pushed his feet almost through the floor of my car.
STill SCREAMING he looked over at me.. just sitting there LAUGHING my ASS OFF.

After all was said and done I looked over and he had pissed himself all over my car...
So I got him bad... and I kind of got myself....

But it was classic!!!

[why_fly_high]

	Quote: Originally Posted by SleepyC
	I just remembered a good one. Back in college a guy and me drove home from a racing event, He was riding shotgun, and I was driving. Well he fell asleep, and I drove all the way home. When we got back I pulled into the apartments parking lot, and pulled into a parking spot right infront of a brick wall. Got a smile on my face, and proceded to back up a little and then drive forward slowly, HIT the brakes HARD and yelled ARGHHHHHHHHH. My buddy woke up looked up saw a brick wall STARTED SCREAMING and pushed his feet almost through the floor of my car. STill SCREAMING he looked over at me.. just sitting there LAUGHING my ASS OFF. After all was said and done I looked over and he had pissed himself all over my car... So I got him bad... and I kind of got myself.... But it was classic!!!

That works really well on the highway when a semi-truck is being towed backward. Get right on the bumper and start screaming.

Dan

[mikeyj86]

I have the garage door code to one of my buddies house, and one weekend while his family was out camping, me and some friends went in and unscrewed all of the light bulbs just enough so that they looked in but wouldn't come on, his got home and could not figure out for the life of him why nothing worked, finally he tapped on of the bulbs and it flickered so he screwed it in and figured it out, my buddies dad thought it was funny, but his mom wanted to kill me, she has since forgiven me

[wizard]

I used to work in a factory. We had one guy there that was just to easy to get. He was the forklift driver. It started off small, putting bubble wrap under the wheels of the forklift, (sounds like an electric arc when you take off). Then it progressed up to the point where someone tied a desk chair to the back with a 20 foot rope. He made it almost 1/2 way across the factory beating the $h!t out of everything when ever he made a turn the chair would swing out like a waterskier on a tight turn of the boat. They finally made us leave the poor guy alone after the day I saw him running full speed down the aisle, I slid a 2 x 4 in the direction of the forklift. By pure luck i had the timing just right and it slid under after the front wheels passed and both rear wheels hit the 2 x 4. I swear that the back end of the lift came at least 1 1/2 feet off the ground and launched him right into the headach rack. By the time he finally got the lift stopped everyone in the area was laughing so hard that no one could even help him down from the lift. It was three days before he could even bring himself to get back on the forklift.

[wizard]

One more. I wish I could take credit. When I was at FT. Benning Ga for basic training, we had a bulldog as the company mascot. One morning the Drill Instructorwas standing in front of the formation and looked down at his boots. He lifted his foot and saw a brown substance on the side of the heel. He then proceded to wipe some off whith his finger and taste it. He then started yelling about someone not picking up after the dog. After about 10 minuets of yelling and many pushups by the entire company, he finally let us in on the joke. It was peanut butter.

[crazyextra]

LOL these are great!

My friends and I used to hang out with this guy that was just Begging to be picked on.......so three of us decided to smash open some blank video cassettes and take the tape reels out. We proceeded over to his house, very late at night, we each tied a reel to his antenna and starting walking around his car, completely...and I mean completely covering it, you couldn't even see the paint!!, anyways we took a picture of it and then went home and emailed to him, He wasn't to impressed!

[SleepyC]

POST THE PICTURE!!!!! I wanna see. sounds funny!

[Kevin Y]

oh man this is my kinda thing.

One of my friend came up with a great one when we were in high school. Him and a couple of buddies were drunk one friday night and went to the local salvation army. Outside there was a couple of couches and other things so they took them and put them on another friends front yard. They made a whole bunch of fliers for a yard sale at the kids address and posted them all over town. That saturday morning the kid doorbell was ringing at like 5:30 am. We never told him who did it but he could probably guess.

this one is not very creative but just fun to do. Two years ago my buddies and I were really bored on Holloween so we went to walmart and bought three or four cans of that fake snow stuff and a whole bunch of glitter. We drove to another friends house and completely covered his car in the crap. You could not tell what color the car was, you couldn't even see out any window. The next day we all had to be at work early and the kid shows up with just a small clean area on each window so he could see out of it.

I have a ton more I'll just have to think about it for a while.

[wizard]

While at a biker party, one of my buddies kicked back on his bike. Feet up on the handlebars, leaning against the sissy bar. Well, he then proceded to pass out. When he woke up the next morning he was duct taped to his bike. We used a whole roll of duct tape. We let him yell about 1/2 hour before we finally let him loose.