logo
Thread Tools
Old 03-24-2006, 10:28 PM
crazyextra is offline
Find More Posts by crazyextra
they call me....the gas man
crazyextra's Avatar
Canada
Joined Jan 2006
392 Posts
Biffs drivers licence application!

Sorry Biff couldn't resist!!!

go ahead and fill'er in boys!!! (remember, keep it reasonably clean )







Redneck Driver's License Application
Last name: ________________
First name (check appropriate box):
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ kitchen
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ shed
Model of your pickup: _____________
Year pickup produced: 194____
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:_________________________
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] MAXIM
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap World
[_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable
How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown
[_] Black
[_] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know
crazyextra is offline Find More Posts by crazyextra
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-24-2006, 10:37 PM
Biff is offline
Find More Posts by Biff
Biff's Avatar
South Carolina
Joined Jan 2006
3,223 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

Crazyextra's info card. Go ahead and fill 'er in!

Time of death______ Am___ PM_____
Next of kin__________
Denomination of service at funeral_________
Closed casket?__________
Biff is offline Find More Posts by Biff
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-24-2006, 10:39 PM
crazyextra is offline
Find More Posts by crazyextra
they call me....the gas man
crazyextra's Avatar
Canada
Joined Jan 2006
392 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

ARRRRR AHAAHAAHAAA ARRRRRRRRR AHAAHAAHAAHAHAA!!

Closed casket please, no need to scare anybody with my fro
crazyextra is offline Find More Posts by crazyextra
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-24-2006, 10:48 PM
ShortBus is offline
Find More Posts by ShortBus
Workin' the pole
ShortBus's Avatar
Hopewell Jct, NY
Joined Jan 2006
4,483 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

Redneck Driver's License Application
Last name: _____Whatever my paw's naw is___________

First name (check appropriate box):
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[/] Bobby-Beth-Ann
Age: __elevendy two__ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F __/___ Not sure
Shoe Size: __6__ Left __14__ Right

Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[/_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: ________Billy-sue__________________
2nd Spouse's Name: ____________Momma_____________
3rd Spouse's Name: ________Auntie mai_________________
Lover's Name: ________Jose____________________
2nd Lover's Name: ______billy bob____________________

Relationship with spouse:
[/] Sister [/] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[/] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[1/2] Pet
Number of children living in household: _14__
Number of children living in shed: _2__
Number of children that are yours: __0_
Mother's Name: ____peggy sue___________________
Father's Name: ____Jerimiah___________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: (1) 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [/] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
__0 Total number of vehicles you own
__0 Number of vehicles that still crank
__15 Number of vehicles in front yard
2Number of vehicles in back yard
ALL Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
__/__ truck
___/_ kitchen
__/__ bedroom
__/__ bathroom
__/__ shed
Model of your pickup: _______uhhh....stick on label worn out?______
Year pickup produced: 194_0___

Do you have a gun rack?
[_/] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:_________________________
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] MAXIM
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap World
[/] Rifle and Shotgun
__abducted_ Number of times you've seen a UFO
__3_ Number of times you've seen Elvis
__16_ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[/] Not Applicable

How many teeth? _4_

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown
[_] Black
[/] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man

paws used chewing tobacco


How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[/] don't know
ShortBus is offline Find More Posts by ShortBus
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-25-2006, 11:37 AM
Vortex is offline
Find More Posts by Vortex
contents under pressure
Vortex's Avatar
Saint Rose Louisiana 20 min west of New Orleans
Joined Jan 2006
311 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

Before you say redneck again
just remember that the politically
correct word is Appalachian American
Vortex is offline Find More Posts by Vortex
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-25-2006, 11:57 AM
krashmaster81 is offline
Find More Posts by krashmaster81
What goes up, must come down!
krashmaster81's Avatar
Tucson, AZ
Joined Jan 2006
688 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

lets see if i can get this right . . .

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
__6_ Total number of vehicles you own
__2_ Number of vehicles that still crank
__1_ Number of vehicles in front yard
__3_ Number of vehicles in back yard
__1_ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
___1_ truck
____ kitchen
___5_ bedroom
___1_ bathroom
____ shed

yep, that should about do it!
krashmaster81 is offline Find More Posts by krashmaster81
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-25-2006, 12:11 PM
Texx is offline
Find More Posts by Texx
Uber Contributor
Texx's Avatar
New Jersey
Joined Jan 2006
966 Posts
Re: Biffs drivers licence application!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vortex
Before you say redneck again
just remember that the politically
correct word is Appalachian American
I thought the PC term is now "Son of the Soil"!
Texx is offline Find More Posts by Texx
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message


Quick Reply
Message:


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools