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Old 11-15-2015, 10:31 PM
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I hammer at 1500 feet
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Yippee!
Here's one for ya...

A duck walks into a bar.....
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Old 11-17-2015, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orthobird View Post
A duck walks into a bar.....
And bangs his head? The bar was low?
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Old 11-17-2015, 09:23 PM
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I hammer at 1500 feet
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A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
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Old 11-17-2015, 09:24 PM
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I hammer at 1500 feet
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A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?"

The duck replies, "I'm dry-walling the building across the street. I'll be in town for a few days."

The next day, the duck walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Hey duck, I was telling someone about you last night. They're really interested in meeting with you!"

"Is that so?"

"There's a travelling circus in town," the bartender explained. "The ringmaster was in here last night and thought you'd be a star attraction for them!"

The duck looked puzzled and says, "Why the hell would a circus need a dry-waller?"
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Old 11-17-2015, 09:33 PM
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I hammer at 1500 feet
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http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1c...y-joke_animals
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Old 11-18-2015, 02:50 PM
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Marph, marph!!








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Old 11-21-2015, 01:38 PM
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Bada-boom, bada-bing. Rim shot.

You should tell your next patient the last one right as he's about to be put under.
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